What’s in a name?

By Jose Barrock

This time around, Tiger would like to take issue with names ranging from residential property to mamak shops to, well, listed companies. Sometimes they are just too unimaginative and at other times, they simply go over the top. A case of too much visualising and fantasising perhaps. 

First, to set the record straight, Tiger needs to clarify that he is generally quite liberal when it comes to the naming of residential property projects and such, but the goings-on in the corporate jungle have Tiger perpetually raising his whiskers in lieu of the hair above his eyes… or eyebrows as you call them.

Occasionally Tiger cringes at the thought of names which  have been chosen for certain developments, and has to quickly find and read something idiotic that a politician has said to feel normal again.

Although it’s pretty easy to find garbage said by politicians the whole exercise is tiring Tiger out.

Now, how can any respected developer call its project Effingham?

Just because there is a town in Illinois called Effingham doesn’t mean we need one too. Yes there is a town called Effingham in Illinois, it’s at the intersection of Interstates 57 and 70… don’t you guys know anything? Does Tiger have to teach you everything???

While Tiger acknowledges that it could be worse — for instance it could have been called 1Effingham along the lines of 1Malaysia — Tiger admits that this is very close to the bottom of the barrel..

Forget the whole Effingham Estate and our history bit. After changing so much of our history we want to maintain this? Tiger thinks otherwise.

While it may not be wrong, it’s certainly not right.

Imagine the development going for a floatation exercise and becoming Effingham Bhd. The roadshows would be hilarious. Or let’s take it another step further, Effingham (M) Bhd, in case they decided to go to France or Finland, where it could be Effingham (F) Ltd or whatever.

Wonder what the stock code would be in Malaysia… Eff?

But then again we do have a tendency and quite a track record for bad names.

Just go down to Damansara Perdana (Bukit Lanjan for those of you who can remember), and you will se e– wait for it — RitzE Perdana. Go down a little more and you will see ArmanEE Terrace.

To make it worse there’s a RitzE 2 now.

Yes Tiger is not kidding.

This is actually worse than when everything had that stupid D’ in front of it. Remember shops named D’Wantan Mee and D’Florist…where the D was meant to be The?

(Actually in Damansara Perdana near RitzE Perdana One there is a mamak called De Maju but that’s another tale for another day)

Then again, why is Damansara Perdana lumped together with Damansara?

Isn’t it closer to Kepong or Kayu Ara?

Oh but you can’t have Ritze Kepong or Ritze Kayu Ara now can you, it just doesn’t gel, it’s not glam enough.

And since we’re on the subject, what’s with Bangsar South? Isn’t it Kerinchi or Kampung Kerinchi to be more precise?

If Tiger were mayor, he would change the name of affluent Bangsar to Kampung Kerinchi North and teach those Bangsarians a lesson.

So if Tiger doesn’t make it in corporate Malaysia, he’s going to try for Mayor of KL. It’s basically a plan B, as all you corporate geezers know.

All this rubbish makes you feel like swearing doesn’t it? It’s just so Effingham crazy the way things are.

Come to think of it just look at companies on the Bursa Malaysia.

You have Handal Resources, a counter trading below 50 sen which is not so handal in terms of financial performance. But then you can’t call a company Kurang Handal now can you? Would the SC approve the IPO?

Hey if you don’t do well financially you can just say we told you so at the AGM to shareholders…. “Our name is Kurang Handal, what do you expect?” the MD may blurt out.

A name that a lot of thought was put into must be Berjaya. Yes good old Vincent Tan Chee Yioun.

Then of course you have the three alphabets form which is the favourite of Malaysian Chinese companies like YTL (Yeoh Tiong Lay in case you didn’t know) and WCT basically Wong, Chan and Taing and names like Wong Engineering, Lee Rubber, Yee Lee Corp, SBC Corp  or Siah Brothers Corp etc.

Speaking of names and companies, whatever happened to MGR Corp Bhd…wonder if it was MG Ramachandran, ala the famous Tamil movie star. Aw come on, you know the guy who used a lot of talcum powder and lipstick and used to do a very fast paced twist (although he often said tiust), to some fierce rock and roll songs.

Come to think of it does anyone use talcum powder these days?

No I’m not talking about the stuff women use (think it’s called foundation or some construction or re-construction term) but like Cuticura powder? Nevermind.

Then you have the other standard, a company named after a place.

Think Taiping Super, Bukit Katil Resources, Selangor Dredging, United Malacca etc.

But imagine this, Taiping Super has morphed into Gunung Capital. Now what kind of name is Gunung Capital?

And the SC should outlaw any company with the word “Gas” in it is as being a big no no, since gas equals farts doesn’t it?

Mention Petronas Gas or Gas Malaysia and Tiger imagines the silent killers.

Names like 1Utopia, or XOX Bhd sounds like something from the 1970’s when Tiger was a cub and against the Vietnam War and against just about everything else for that matter.

Ooh yes the D’ fad did hit the Bursa Malaysia as well. Lest we forget, we have D’Nonce Technology Bhd.

Anyway, we are now going on 57 years old, let’s be more serious, get our act together and at least choose some less embarrassing names for our developments and companies. Politicians don’t worry. You are spared for another 57 years, just keep doing the great job you are doing.

GRRRRR!