By Xavier Kong
It is a time and age when buzzwords are created virtually overnight, spread like wildfire, then disappear into the place where buzzwords go after their hype, to be pulled out once in a while. But Tiger is curious. Where will it end?
In Tiger’s opinion, there really are more buzzwords than anyone can shake a stick at, and the thing is, these buzzwords are just mushrooming overnight, appearing from nowhere! Really, where do these buzzwords come from?
There are recent popular ones like “trust deficit”, “interpretation mistake”, and who could forget the wonderful “Units! Just units!”, courtesy of certain minister when asked about local “strategic investment company” 1Malaysia Development Bhd (1MDB). There are also the ever-present ones, such as the more notable “cautiously optimistic” and “forward planning”, among the others available.
First of all, Tiger would just like to say something that has been sitting on Tiger’s chest for a while. Really? Forward planning, you say? Well, pray tell, what other kinds of planning are there? Backward planning? Wait, is that not something called hindsight? Honestly, some of the buzzwords out there sound like attempts to be clever, when they really are not.
Oh, and what about “interpretation mistake”? In the context of it being used to cover the bases of 1MDB, it sounds more like a dodge to Tiger. Redirecting the blame to the media rather than come clean? Well, there’s the reason for the rakyat’s “trust deficit”! It really is not rocket science, considering even a Tiger can figure this out.
What about “cautiously optimistic”? Sounds like an oxymoron more than anything, in Tiger’s opinion. It just sounds like someone choosing to straddle the line. Not coming out directly and making a choice, like “Hey, we are cautious/wary/other synonyms”, or “Hey, we think this is really going to be good!” Instead, the wonders that be have gifted the English language with “cautiously optimistic”.
At the same time, not to go back to 1MDB again, but “strategic investment company”? Well, Tiger is not sure what use any organisation would have for a company that makes non-strategic investments, but having to describe the company in that sense really instills a sense of confidence in those looking to utilise its services, no?
And of course, Tiger can never forget the wonderful and mysterious “unit”. To this point, none of the two-legs has actually stepped forward to explain what is meant by the term, and even the one who used it could only reply “units, just units” when faced with the question of what a “unit” is.
But really, enough is enough. Phrases like the above perplex, bamboozle, and confound the audience. While, yes, there are some situations that call for one of those to be used, like cautiously optimistic, there are many that are used for the express purpose of disguising or hiding something.
Tiger believes this has gone too far, and is definitely far enough. In the interest of trying to be precise and ambiguous at the same time, a new language was created based on the English language and put to use, with its own jargon and lingo.
Understandably, a company can’t write to Bursa Malaysia and say “look, we had good results, but we are not sure about the future. Hopefully, we should be able to do better, depending on how things go”.
While satisfyingly comfortable, the above sentence probably would not fly in Bursa. Thus came about “management is cautiously optimistic about the coming financial year. However, headwinds might compress margins, as market sentiment remains volatile moving forward”.
Honestly, Tiger has hopes and dreams about the day when statements and press releases are written in clear, simple English, and looking at one does not feel like Tiger is being drowned in buzzwords, because, really, what is wrong with the English Language?
However, realistic expectations reveal to Tiger that, moving forward, the usage of terms that accurately describe the situation and ensure no “interpretation mistakes” will be the common theme. Corporate language will move towards crafting more suitable terms for situations, should there be a need.
Still, a Tiger can dream, right?
GRRRRR!!!
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